How many times have you written your goals and how many of them have you actually achieved?
A few years ago, my friends and I started writing our yearly goals and somehow it became a tradition. In those years that we wrote our goals some of it was achieved and most weren’t, but we never stopped the tradition. We just kept on going until we actually achieved even the ‘backlog’ goals that we had from the previous years.
Looking into our 2018 goals, I feel like I could do so much more because I’m not actually hitting the goals just yet. My progress has been slow for the most part but I’m determined to get to the bottom of the problem why I’m not achieving them and what I can do to solve it.
Am I having goals that are too unrealistic that’s why I’m feeling underachieving? Maybe the question should be: “Why am I compelled to reach unrealistically high goals at all? Goals are at times unrealistic. But, if goals are meant to be easy, why should it be called goals at all? Calling it a list, like a to-do list is more fitting.
So, how do you achieve your unrealistic goals?
Set your goals first (no matter how unrealistic they are)
I used to think that I should work hard and smart for my daughter because of the obvious reasons. While it is still true, I think as a mom the drive to actually come up with the most important and hardest goals to actually achieving them should start with what we want for ourselves first. It’s not bad to show your children that they are your ultimate priority, but would it be better if they see that you are setting yourself as their role model first? In a way your teaching them how to value their individuality while not forgetting about the people that they should truly care about. Think about what the flight attendants tell us during the in-flight safety demos and that is to put on your oxygen first before your kid because that’s one way to ensure that you are well enough to look after when in the situation.
Align your goals with your reality
Don’t be scared to change your goals because sometimes the reason why your goals are so hard to achieve is that it doesn’t resonate with your current reality. Maybe there are better goals to set or tweaking your list of goals would be more fitting to where you are in your life. For instance, this year my goal was to earn at least thrice to what I earned last year but with the idea of being a hands-on mom, that goal has become harder to achieve. So, instead of feeling bad about it, I’m working on a plan b that would help me achieve at least half of my original goal.
… BUT, if your goals truly matter, you’ll do everything to achieve them
Last year, I planned on travelling with my then one-year-old daughter. To most first-time moms the idea of just going to a grocery with a toddler is already an impossible idea, let alone if you’re travelling with just your toddler. But because it matters to me to prove that my daughter and I can do it, we did it anyway. We started with a four-hour long international flight until we did a 16hr long-haul flight with just the two of us. Was it exhausting? Yes. Was it scary? Not at all! I enjoyed every minute of that experience because I was able to block all the negative thoughts and went on to achieve my ‘mom goal’.